Like the Rain
by ChibiJaime
Summary: Sap, angst, m/m romantic stuff. Hakkai's nightmares in the rain turn violent, and Gojyo takes it upon himself to help him.


Author's Note: GAH. Sap, sap, sap, angst, angst, angst! This fic was written as a base for a rather cute doujinshi I'm drawing. Keep checking at http://www.sweetestcoma.com/fatedguys for not only that but the completion of my move!  
  
~=Like the Rain=~  
  
The rain came that night like the tears of angels fallen from grace. Not a soul stirred in either of the rooms the Sanzo-ikkou were in at the tiny inn... not a soul but one Hakkai, sitting on the bed so inconveniently placed by the window as his closest friend and confidante Gojyo slept peacefully no more than a few feet away on the next bed over. In the next room over, he knew that Sanzo was busily dealing with Gokuu, who was suffering from a nasty case of food poisoning.  
  
Silently, he cursed his own stupidity and polite ways. Gojyo had been suffering from a headache earlier, however, and with as much he had drank, Hakkai put him as close to the bathroom as possible.  
  
He, however, was suffering more than his slumbering companion. With a final sigh and a pat to Hakuryuu, who lay curled up on one side of the pillow, he lay down as well, staring at the ceiling. "I'm not sure if I'll even be able to sleep..."  
  
And he sighed and closed his eyes. Within a few minutes, he too had succumbed to sleep... although his was far from peaceful...  
  
*****  
  
Dreams like this always had the same beginning... darkness, permeating everything. He felt lost, distant, detached from everything he loved and held dear. Hakkai's mind was a twisted labyrinth of hate and deceit, the monsters from his past eating away at him as all he was surrounded by was the heavy, overbearing cold, beating down upon him like the rain that fell outside the inn where he slept.  
  
He saw blood. Crimson red flowing through the very earth and twisting through his hair now, over his clothing and skin, sinking deep and threatening not to let go. The bodies of his friends everywhere.  
  
He had killed them.  
  
It had been his hands that had slain them, torn and broken their bodies. Sanzo, Gokuu, even Kanan...  
  
And Gojyo.  
  
He reached with trembling hands to touch the broken body. He brushed away the crimson hair in fear and in hatred of his own self. Empty rubine eyes stared back at him... empty... open... dead.  
  
Tears began to flow freely. They were hot, and when they hit his lips, he realized it was blood that came, the coppery taste so recognizable against his tongue. He tried to scream, cry, anything... but he felt more than heard no sound. He only heard the echoing yells of his own past, the cries of the demons he had killed as their fallen bodies were added to those that surrounded him, the weeping of Kanan from that cold cell where she had stayed before his own dagger slit her throat...  
  
The voices surrounded him, goading him. /Penance./ That is what they demanded. /We want your blood. Pay us for ours!/  
  
So cold. So cold. He lifted the dagger that had killed so many.  
  
/Penance! Give us penance!/  
  
~I... I will... just to stop you... to leave me be...~  
  
/Pay us for our blood with yours!/  
  
~...So cold...~  
  
He had barely touched the dagger to his throat when...  
  
*****  
  
Hakkai's eyes snapped open as he jolted awake in bed, prepared to blast whatever had hold of his shoulder into next week... until he realized that it was a much more lively pair of the same crimson eyes from his dream that stared at him in such concern. "...Gojyo!"  
  
"Hey, calm down there, tiger. You were having some nightmare... kept screaming. You woke up Sanzo, and he wasn't too happy. I explained to him what was goin' on, though, so don't worry... ain't gonna be a bullet hole in YOUR head." He grinned. "Mine, maybe, but at least we don't hafta mess up two good lookin' guys, huh?"  
  
The joke made Hakkai smile just a little, but even that small gesture was distant and hurting. Not thinking too much about the consequences of his actions, Gojyo pressed his fingertips lightly to the other's lips. "You look like shit. C'mon, you an' me can go get supplies. Get ready."  
  
The moment was over as quickly as it had come, and it left Hakkai wondering why exactly Gojyo had done that... and what he was to do about it. But before he could ask, Gojyo had already slipped out of the room. "...Gojyo..."  
  
*****  
  
After cleaning up and forcing his own smile so harshly that Hakkai thought his face may crack, he and Gojyo headed out to get supplies. On their way out, Hakkai checked briefly to see how Gokuu was doing, and then they were off.  
  
For the most part, Hakkai remained silent. His eyes were downcast, and he knew he wasn't fooling Gojyo. If anyone could see through his facade, it was that blood-haired half-demon beside him. As a matter of fact, the man that walked in stride with him was starting to look very frustrated, until finally, he dragged the dark-haired youkai into an alley, pinning him against the wall with both hands. "Hakkai, spill it. Is that nightmare bothering you or something?"  
  
"Gojyo, I'm fi--..."  
  
"DON'T give me that "I'm fine", bullshit, Hakkai! You know I can see right through it!"  
  
A moment of tension began, one staring down the other, neither backing down. Finally, though, Hakkai just smiled softly and shook his head. "Don't worry about me so much. I'll be okay."  
  
In an instant, Gojyo's hands tightened slightly, but then he breathed a frustrated sigh, smoke from his cigarette billowing out and swirling about his head for a moment. "If you say so, Hakkai. But..."  
  
Hakkai tilted his head. "But?"  
  
Gojyo did not hesitate... but he did not speak. He leaned foreward, lips quite used to the gesture pressing against his companion's. Once the quick moment of seeming insanity was over, he leaned back, nearly nose-to- nose with his old friend. "Give me a real smile."  
  
*****  
  
Nearly two days had passed since that sudden incident in the alley. Gojyo and Hakkai had hardly spoken two words to one another, and the tension between the two was beginning to even grate at Sanzo's nerves.  
  
Through that whole day, the two hardly looked at one another, let alone speaking, even at dinner.  
  
At last, the solemn day gave way to night as stormclouds rolled in on the horizon. The same scenario was playing itself out again, Hakkai's nightmare shifting into play.  
  
But this time, as the cold metal of the dagger touched his throat, he felt a strange warmth envelope him. It was soft... comforting. And within it, the terrifying images began to melt away under the light of the sun that broke through the clouds that spilled forth crimson.  
  
All of it was replaced by a different shade of red, familiar and inviting, as it chased the nightmare away.  
  
*****  
  
The morning came as the stormclouds rolled out, leaving behind them a glistening world kissed with the dewy rain. Hakkai's lashes fluttered against his cheeks as his mind fought to wake up, not wanting to leave the recesses of the dreamless sleep he had fallen into. Then he realized that a pair of bare arms were encircling him, one large hand rubbing his back.  
  
At this, his emerald eyes flew open in a split second. His head, he found, was nestled beneath Gojyo's chin, and it was the half-demon that held him in the gentle embrace, pressed against a bare chest. The smile that came to the other's face was easy to hear as he spoke. "Good to see you're awake, Hakkai." The other man shifted, releasing him and sitting up. "You were having that nightmare again. I came over here and hugged ya... you calmed down so much after I did that I didn't wanna get up... and besides... you're a comfortable bedmate. You don't kick."  
  
Hakkai thought, now, that his blush had burned in, his eyes wide as he stared at his friend. "Gojyo, you didn't... I would've been... I mean..."  
  
Slower this time, Gojyo leaned foreward, halting the statement with a deep kiss, taking advantage of the other man's shock to slip his tongue between the slightly parted lips. Arms went around the lithe body, one cradling the back of Hakkai's head, the other rubbing his back. And when he finally pulled away, the young youkai was breathing a bit more heavily than before. "I hate to see you hurting."  
  
Staring in shock, Hakkai could do little else but blink, even when Gojyo leaned foreward to hug him lightly.  
  
And somehow, those rainy nights didn't seem so frightening anymore.  
  
~=Owari=~ 


End file.
